"I don't stand at those disgusting things when I pee," Solomon Nguyen shouted over his shoulder. His friend Andy Smith approached the urinal on the wall to relieve himself. Water splashed and Solomon began his exposition on the cleanliness of public restroom facilities anew.

Andy just rolled his eyes, took care of business, and turned to wash his hands. A face stared back at him in the mirror. Above his right shoulder hovered the cold gray face of a marble statue. He hated coming to this bar because of those Gothic statues. It seemed no matter where you were on the sidewalk, the faces were staring right at you. Right through you.

Shaking his hands, Andy reached for a paper towel and left the room.

"... you know what I mean?" Solomon suspected he was alone in the men's room. "Andy? Fine. Cash me ou'side!"

Back at the bar the two friends enjoyed a few more drinks, and put up with a couple more karaoke singers before calling it a night. They paid and walked outside.

"Hang on. I want a smoke." Solomon slurred, and then slumped against the rough brick wall. He lit the cigarette and looked out over the vacant street. It was approaching three in the morning.

"Yeah, sure man." Andy's mind was elsewhere. On the statues. In his elevated state, he wondered about their creation. He pondered the hands that chiseled those living stone faces. And he shivered.

When they arrived for dinner and walked past the cemetery, Andy sped up to avoid eye contact with the statues. Solomon gave him a hard time but increased his pace to keep up. There was a procession of golem sized masterworks that lined the dirt path leading into the graveyard. Each pose different. Each face unique. Andy could tell you from memory the order in which they appeared.

The front two he called the Twins because they reminded him of those strange kids in the hallway of the Overlook. The next two were Mort and Igor. Both were hunched over at the waist. They leaned out over the path as if ready to topple over. And the last two were the strangest. They were also the most lifelike. Andy called them Madam and Sir. He couldn't think of another name that fit but it was appropriate. The couple was dressed in their finest attire and looked very regal. They stood just paces from the entrance of the mausoleum at the center of the small burial plot.

"I said c'mon. We can still catch a re-run of X-Files if we hurry!" Solomon pushed Andy's shoulder to break his mesmerized daze.

Andy turned away from the dirt path and started to follow Solomon. Then he turned to look back. After all those hours, they changed. Not just one, but all six statues were now out of order. And not only that, they were much closer to the edge of the unholy ground.

Andy bolted past his friend and turned the corner. Solomon gave a shout but increased his pace to keep up.

THE END

Statuesque